[Saiyouri]

Dear Diary,
Things are getting bad for me. I spent the last over 15 1/2 years with my husband every single day with him and now it's been 4 weeks since I've seen him. I'm having a hard time finding a reason to live anymore, I want to sleep all day long all because I can't see him and I only talk to him on the phone once a day ; ; I already shaved my head because of how depressed I've become over the past few weeks. I wish things would get better and I wished he didn't have to be gone for so long or gone at all. I miss him so much. I only have my cats now and they comfort me alot, but not enough to get rid of the horrible emptiness I have within me because of the love of my life being gone. His next trip will be for another 4 weeks again and after that it will be two weeks at a time. And when he comes home, it will only be for a couple days at a time. I'll be damn lucky for him to be home for 3 days straight but that won't happen that often at all. I want to break out crying right now because I can't handle living anymore without him. He's too much a part of my life. God I wished life would treat me alot better. I can't do this anymore and I can't do anything anymore without my husband. I just want to crawl into a hole and die.

Sai