[Ava]

Originally Posted by Espy

hhhhh oh gods what are feelings. can i go back to deluding myself that i'm 100% aro/ace and not just nebulously on the deep end of the spectrum?

when i said, "plant the boot on my arse and kick me forward", i didn't... expect you would actually do that, and now i'm juggling feelings for you *and* her. that's not fair.

I feel that struggle, Espy :(
I don't even really reply anymore when people ask me my "orientation". I always call myself a "something-sexual". I feel like I can't fit into any one label... And if I did, there's probably like 15 labels that would have to label the one label that makes the whole label make sense. It's extremely confusing to figure out where exactly I'd fit on the spectrums... and I think , for me, the labels don't help me much anyway!

Now for the shout;

It's looking like I may have to stop seeing my current therapist.
She's a great therapist and I've learned a lot from her... But my parents get into arguments about who will take me to therapy... and they complain that my appointment times with her are problematic because they have their own things they want to do...

I used to be able to get MA/Medicaid transportation. But that was back in my home state, I'm not sure if I could get rides here in Los Angeles...

And regardless of all that, my therapist is currently pregnant and I worry about her having to stop seeing me one day soon anyway.

It just upsets me because I do much better when I have a schedule that is, for the most part, predictable. I'm not sure I have the skills learned well enough to manage day-to-day stressors without a therapist just yet... And it's kinda scary.