[Rosekitten]

He was frustrated. He had been for a while, there were quite a few things that weighted on his mind and he had just ignored them all the while they were here. Just seeing Mizuki flinch back from him made everything sink in that he could have prevented all of this. If he had just stepped up a little or pushed to keep them from drifting apart like this. Of course a relationship took two for it to work but he could have done anything differently. But the damage was already done now.

He wasn't sure if he was actually planning to see Mizuki tomorrow or not if the other had let him walk away. Maybe he would have stayed low for a while to try and sort things out or to allow Mizuki some space as he felt it was hardly fair to expect the other to want him around after today. Though those ideas stopped as he suddenly felt arms around him preventing him from leaving or taking any steps further.

His ears dropped a little listening to the other start by saying he didn't think he as happy. He wasn't with how things were going but that never meant he wasn't happy still being with Mizuki... hardly. The thought never crossed his mind in truth. But the longer he thought about it the other had plenty of reasons to think that Thalion had lost any feelings for him. The last time they did anything together, even just something simple like this, was.. he had no idea when.

Even now with just Mizuki holding onto him he wasn't sure he could ask for more, what even caused them to start going at one another's throats over the years? It wasn't the children that was certain, heck if anything the two young ones kind of forced them to speak to one another over the past few years. Though this was when Mizuki seemed to go on saying sorry again.

He felt the hicks in the breath from the other still holding onto him and the grip tighten like Mizuki would lose him if he dared to release his hold. He knew what fear Mizuki had at losing Nytria or himself. It made sense he wanted the boy to succeed. Even to the point he was blind to what was right in front of him. Really it was the same fear that had kept Thalion at a odds with what he should do.

He knew he had to fix this problem, but there was a fear that tugged at his mind. What if it made things worse on Nytria. He'd never forgive himself if out of all of this trying to find a solution he didn't cure the child as well. Let alone what if the cure didn't work on the child even? What then, he'd be forced to watch their son grow up not knowing when or if he'd make it let alone how long he'd make it. Heck Thalion was only twenty-eight and seemed to be nearly doomed as it was.

Though his mind snapped back to what was going on around him as Mizuki loosened his grip a little. Though a unvoiced question was answered as Mizuki turned him around looking at him. He didn't want to look honestly, seeing that flash of fear before when the other flinched was enough. To see it again.. he didn't want to. Though it wasn't there for the moment. He knew there were still traces of the rage from earlier but it was dying slowly. He wasn't holding onto it because he wanted to, he wasn't even mad current, not in the slightest but it just refused to go away.

When Mizuki spoke again and moved hugging him he flinched a little. He wasn't sure why really, maybe out of worry. He wasn't sure how easily thing could turn around from this to back to a moment where he didn't know what was going on again. There was those words again though. Sorry. Mizuki had nothing to be sorry over. Thalion knew his limits, he had told himself before that conversation started that he needed to back down from it after he had said what needed to be said.

Either way he hesitated before finally moving his arms to hold Mizuki in return. He half forgot what it even felt like to have the other close. Even when they slept together in the same bed Mizuki had moved away. He forgot when that first happened, he should have stopped things back then when he noticed it. But maybe things weren't as lost as they seemed to be, they were here now weren't they?

All the while Thalion had stayed quiet letting Mizuki talk and say what he needed to. He wasn't sure what to say really and it was hard to even fit the right words together that needed to be said. But never the less Mizuki went on, moving back a little to look at him. This was when Mizuki spoke again bringing up what was said earlier. The words that followed with that pleading look was enough to destroy anyone.

Show him... how? Where did he even begin to show him. He wasn't even sure he knew how to show him anymore. They had been apart for so long he almost felt like he had to go back to square one to even know what he was doing. But now things were different... he wanted to show him he almost screamed in his head just to move or do something. Even just something simple just anything was better then just standing there.

It was a good thing Mizuki spoke again pleading with him. He felt the sadness behind that please as the hands on the back of his shirt gripped tighter. Though by now he gave up on thinking what was the right answer to what Mizuki sought out. He knew the answer and it was everything. They both had just missed the other even though both sides had been all but ignoring the other for the past year plus.

Moving a little he needed to test it. He wasn't sure what he would have done if Mizuki had flinched away again but the other didn't this time as he rested a hand on the non bruised side of Mizuki's face. After that he knew what he needed to do. At the least to start things as he kissed the other. Though it wasn't just a quick kiss. No it was one that had been needed for quite a while.

He only broke it finally to get air and to speak. "I.. you don't have to be sorry... it's my fault I knew and I never said anything all this time." He knew that there was a breaking point he just .. he figured things would go away he guessed but they just kept building. "You wouldn't have known, even about Nytria thats not your fault... if I had just come to you sooner I could have prevented all of this." He knew what Nytria was going through better then anyone. Even the stubborn determination that nearly ended it.

Though with those words he held onto Mizuki a little tighter with the one arm still around him to keep him close. Not like the other was going anywhere still holding onto his short. "I love you Mizuki.. the last thing I wanted was for any of this to happen." He didn't let the other get any words in just yet before he kissed him again. Conflicting emotions he wasn't sure if he should be sad things had to come to this or happy that maybe they could fix it.