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Lioshika 08-09-2011 09:45 PM

Figured~
 
I started on a dating site this year. I met a Sean(1) on there. We hit it off. He disappeared. No message no nothing. Then I met a Zac. Who I fell for, we dated, we slept together; he left me (This is a shorter version) and decided friends only. During the fall of the Zac Empire, I met another Sean(2). Sean (2) and I had planned a date *finally* for this Friday. But he had to cancel because he has to help his grandma move into a nursing home. A friend calls him a skeevy pervert. But he calls Sean(1) a Houdini who disappears, and suggests to date Sean(2). Well; Sean(1) suddenly came back around. We got to talking and he says he doesn't want anything serious and asked me to be his "eff" buddy (if you catch my drift). And I like Sean(2), he likes me. But Sean(1) is closer, yet he still can disappear. Sean(2) lives about an hour away. I don't know what to do. (1) just wants to copulate and I dunno that I can do that without getting attached. And (2) I just dunno, I like him but look what happen when I liked someone last time.

._. See my complexing issue?

Quiet Man Cometh 08-10-2011 08:35 PM

I'm no expert on romance or relationships, but it seems to me you're making this more complicated than it really is. Sean 1 appears to only be interesting in having an f* buddy. If you won't want that, then tell him no and break it off.

As for Sean 2, it's a risk that happens every time I suppose. Either you stay together or you don't. Relationships don't always work out. You need to decide whether you think it's worth taking the risk that it might not last.

Lioshika 08-10-2011 08:47 PM

It's weird because the whole thing Sean(1) wants excites part of me. I've never been like that before, never been a party girl, or anything. so it in some ways appeals to me to step outside my norm.

But I don't know if I'm rushing right into another relationship since one just ended about a month or two ago.

Quiet Man Cometh 08-10-2011 09:09 PM

Well, can't really help you with that except to wish you luck with whatever you pick.

Lioshika 08-10-2011 09:14 PM

Thanks.
@_@ Push come to shove I will live forever with the characters of books I love.


And a huge amount of cats.

Quiet Man Cometh 08-10-2011 09:25 PM

I'll have dogs. ;)

Lioshika 08-10-2011 09:31 PM

My personality is much like a cat.
When I want attention, I want it and damn well give.
When I want to be left alone, leave me alone or else!

CupcakeDolly 08-10-2011 10:31 PM

I did the online dating thing for a while. I would suggest being careful of people who just want to copulate. I talked to a guy who was chasing after his ex at the time, he hinted that he might choose me over her if I slept with him (he didn't actually say that, but it was heavily implied by our conversations). I did sleep with him. He chose her anyway. About a year later, after being almost insanely distraught over it, I find out from a mutual friend that he was going around trying to sleep with pretty much every girl he met up with from that site. Needless to say, I didn't shed one more tear over him. Thank god all tests turned up negative, cuz who knows what I might have caught from him. =P

Point is - be careful. People aren't honest when they're trying to get you to like them... or get you into bed. And not to sound sexist, but us girls do have a tendency to get attached too easily.

Quiet Man Cometh 08-10-2011 10:34 PM

One always needs to be carefull, it's not just online. My sister's ex who was a friend of ours from highschool was a dick, while she met her husband on an online dating site.

Lioshika 08-11-2011 09:00 PM

Cupcake: I know. It's why I am usually most careful.

So true. A lot of people I went to school with where pricks.

Glitch 08-14-2011 11:01 PM

I also did the online dating thing o3o met my current bf of a year on one :D

But before him. I ended up talking to guys who wanted all sorts of situations.

One guy wanted to do the friends with benefits thing, and yes it did sound exciting. Ultimately though, it is not a good idea. Another one I was very interested in, and at first I thought he was too. Ultimately though he turned up saying that he didn't think we clicked and wanted to do the friends with benefits road as well. Feeling attached to somebody and knowing they are out there looking around - is really heartbreaking and not at all worth it.

My current bf when we met lived 8 hours away, but he liked me so much he moved. Sometimes if you and the guy click well enough, it's worth trying.

I guess what it comes down to is, what are you looking for? Do you want something real and long lasting, or are you not sure that you're ready to settle down yet? When you know how you feel about things maybe it would be easier to choose.

Hermes 08-15-2011 01:32 PM

This is actually a really easy decision. If you choose Sean 1 you are confirming that the only thing you yourself are looking for is sex in a relationship.

Sean 2 sounds like he might have potential, but you are punishing him, possibly, for Sean 1's actions.

So, because Sean 1 messed you up, and Zac, you won't give Sean 2 a chance, but Sean 1 says all he wants from you is a screw and then you can leave again, and that sounds exciting to you?

Again, this seems like a really easy decision to me, if those are the only two choices.

Lioshika 08-21-2011 07:48 PM

Hermes; Because it's something different from my normal everyday anything. I'm going to be giving Sean(2) a chance. We had scheduled a first date, but then he hand to cancel because of his grandma and nursing home situation. It's just complicated with his schedule, my schedule, and soon my classes.

DeadMuse 08-24-2011 08:17 PM

I'd stay away from internet dating if i were you. Just go out with your friends and hopefully one of them will introduce you to a new guy that they know of. As for your issue it is highly complexed. D: I'm sorry im not of any real help ..

Lioshika 08-24-2011 11:18 PM

Unfortunately my friends don't know any guys who aren't scum bags to say the least.

Jurinjo 08-26-2011 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lioshika (Post 861260)
It's weird because the whole thing Sean(1) wants excites part of me. I've never been like that before, never been a party girl, or anything. so it in some ways appeals to me to step outside my norm.

Well there are problems that come with sex. If he wants a bed buddy then what about other people he's done? Will he do it with a condom? Has he contracted anything like HIV? Afterfall tests cannot confirm that it exists int he body until 6 months after is has been contracted.

There is also a psychological/emotional implication. You feel like taking Sean 1's offer because it sounds exciting but will you be okay afterwards? Consider it seriously. I was raised on sex after marriage. The bible says it and I take it seriously but...given how my views have changed I am willing to forego that religious rule if I found a woman (or man) I seriously thought I'd marry. It depends on the individual. Hope "what I would do" story helps enforce my perspective. But in the end it's your body...just make sure he doesn't have an actual girlfriend and you're the he's cheating with. D=

EDIT: shit this is a late response. xD;


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