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-   -   Girlfriend troubles (http://www.trisphee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=11177)

Downtown Hobocycle 01-09-2013 08:40 AM

Girlfriend troubles
 
So I'm not usually one to post stuff like this but I don't have anyone I can talk to irl about this, actually it's more I'm too afraid to talk to anyone about it face to face.

So I met my now ex-gf back in 2011 and we were together for a bit under a year until we broke up late july last year. We got on like amazingly but she wanted me to move in with her but if I moved out of my parents place they would go bankrupt because I already pay like half their bills, so she thought I didn't want to commit to her and it sorta snowballed and we ended up breaking up.

So at first I tried to keep contact but she wouldn't answer my texts, I eventually gave up texting. In late november she graduated from the police academy(which i hooked her up with through contacts of mine when they cut her job) and I sent her a text to congratulate her but still got no reply.

So work's been ridiculously busy for the last month, we've had some guys walk out and I've had to pick up the slack. Been absolutely wrecked the last few weeks and really really down because I'm just so tired all the time and she rocked up with some girlfriends at the restaurant I work at.

So I told her back when I got the job the name of the restaurant but not the location so I know she didn't so it on purpose. We had a little chat and all was good, I enjoyed talking to her again because we were such good friends it felt like I lost a little of my family when she just disappeared.

So enough backstory and here's the issue at hand, she wants to get back in a relationship with me but I don't know what to do. Honestly I still love her to pieces but I don't know if she'll just up and leave again. Should I give her another chance?

Tl;dr? Ex gf that broke off all contact wants to get back together again, don't know if I should.

Lauv Keiko 01-09-2013 11:40 AM

It always goes to this question :: Is it worth trying again?
o3o

Obbiesan 01-09-2013 06:41 PM

It's hard to say what you should do but I would recommend having a good long talk about what happened and maybe let her kmow that above all else your family will come first and when you can move out you will if you do get back together iI know a thing or two about trying with an ex and it can work and it can't its mainly what you want deep down if you have deep feelings for her then go for not

littl3chocobo 01-09-2013 07:10 PM

it is prolly the wrong answer but i would totally take her back

Downtown Hobocycle 01-09-2013 09:08 PM

@Keiko well thats the issue, i love her to death still but how do i know shes going to stick around.

@Obbie we have spoken about it a little

@chocobo that is also my first reaction

I probably should mention that my dad now doesn't like her and is way overprotective. This whole situation has been bumming me out and even people at work now are noticing something is up.

littl3chocobo 01-09-2013 10:34 PM

well if you are still pining then at least this way if you have a regret it is the regret of having done it, not the regret of having lost her forever

just be cautious and let her know where you stand then see where she does

Downtown Hobocycle 01-09-2013 11:04 PM

Well I had moved on until she popped up a bit over a week ago.

I'm gonna tell her that we need to spend some time together just as friends, and also she's going to have to talk with my dad.

hyjin 01-09-2013 11:13 PM

Um go with your friends idea... bc if she never wanted to talk after the break up its no real point to try right now... so hangout as friends for a while see how that goes and after a while maybe try again. Only if you belive it is really worth it.

Yokuutsu 01-09-2013 11:58 PM

Question: Before the break up, did she know that you were the one paying the bills at the house so your family wouldn't be starving/freezing,in the dark/etc?

If she did, I would suggest not getting back with her, since, if she did, she knew why you couldn't up and leave, but chose not to give a flying flip about your family which would have been a big problem in the future probably if you got to the marriage stage of a relationship.

If she didn't know, that's up to you really.

Nexess 01-10-2013 01:24 AM

I'm still going to say I'm against this. You were upset as all hell when you broke up, and she knew all the reasons why you couldn't move in together. It'd be unfair to you really, cause honestly I don't trust her not to do the same things twice. This just sounds like she's missing the normality of your relationship together, and I have a feeling it's just going to end in a mess dude.

CupcakeDolly 01-11-2013 01:59 PM

Obviously there are more nuances to the story than you can explain in one post. But just from what I've heard about her, I don't trust her. First of all - either she knew about your situation with your family and chose to ignore it, or didn't know and wouldn't listen to your reasoning. Second - She doesn't answer you for months, then suddenly wants to get back together after being forced to be in the same room with you? Really? You may want to discuss with her what happened to make her change her mind. She doesn't sound reliable. If you truly can't live without her, I would suggest staying friends and keeping your distance until you know what's going on in her head.

Epic Rave Monster 01-12-2013 08:02 PM

If she left you over something silly like that, you probably shouldn't. You could always still be good friends, though. It seems like she wants someone who will give her a lot of attention, and it's not going to help when you're busy with your job. And I'm sure you do still live with your parents.

If you get back together, there is going to be a lot of fighting involved. Is the drama worth it?

Gaius 01-13-2013 03:30 PM

I actually... don't think you've given enough background. I am pretty sure there is more to your breakup than I can see, and perhaps even more than you can see. I have spent a lot of time loving a person who was only sometimes around to love me back, and a lot of time moving on every time they went missing again. What I'm saying is I don't think I would trust her so easily if I were you.


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