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Aww I'm sorry :c
I hope things get better |
It will
I'm almost certain of that |
That's good *hugs*
So did you already get all the EIs you wanted? c: |
I got them the first day of the event x'D
now I'm just selling the currency and helping friends |
Haha ok.
You must post a lot o3o I have almost half haha. I really hope I can get everything in time x: |
Ugh.
I would kind of like to have someone to go to for advice for many things atm, but at the same time, I don't want to whine, and then lose friends because I whine. Keeping shit to myself isn't feeling good, but it's what people wanted me to do. Idk if that just makes me a shitty person or what. Everyone else seems to think it's not a big deal, keeping things bottled up, so I must not be normal since it's so goddamn hard for me to do it.\ Edit: Then again, I don't trust anyone. Probably my fault. Usually it is. While I bitch and whine like a general nuisance, please just ignore me. I would like to just shut up and never say anything about anything, but I apparently cannot do that. |
Aww Mei.
You can talk to me. It's not good to bottle things up. :c |
I do post a lot.
Everyone needs someone to complain to... it just helps |
I don't really have the right to complain, because all of the problems I have are my fault 100% in some way.
Really, I'm just being a downer ( I shouldn't be posting when I'm like this, it just kind of stains the thread lol ) Or rather, selfishly trying to feel better when I shouldn't since I'm to blame in the first place xD |
Quote:
It's ok though if it's like that. Talking about it will help anyways c: |
Shush meiz you can always complain to us. This is what trisphee is for.
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It's okay, thanks. I actually shouldn't have said anything like that in the first place. Dx
Problem is really petty and I actually have no right to be upset about it anyway, since it's probably better for everyone if it escalates and eventually concludes. @__@ |
Even the smallest things can make someone break down.
Talking helps<3 |
Well.. It's different when the problem only effects me in a negative way. I don't mind that, really. Well I shouldn't. It does effect me badly, but I should have enough control not to show it ( though I apparently don't ) xD;
Idk if it would make sense, but I don't care as much if the problem only hurts me. In fact, I think it's better if it only hurts me, because then that means if I can go away for a while, so does the problem ( in other words, if it's bad for me, basically it's good for everyone. If I don't mess it up. ) If that makes sense. xD |
guys, sorry for the late reply, I'm at work and I'm quite busy >A<
@hero: to answer your question, I'm doing just fine ^^~ |
-slides down a slide- WHEEEEE! 8D
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*splashes water at ginger* <3
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*Randomly flops about like a fish.*
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Meiz that thoroughly confused the crap out of me x'D
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*flops on duce and wiggles*
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//pounces at lauv o3o
pretty lady |
+prods the flopping fish Duce with a stick+
... +also prods Lauv+ Asami: xD That's okay. I'm already a little off in the head anyway, lol A better way of putting it would be like.. I'm more comfortable taking the blame than I am putting it on someone else. If I can make all the problems my fault, then that means if I have the ability to learn control so I can go away from everyone else, I'd take the problems with me and they'd be happy. It's kind of how I've gotten into the habit of treating Kai, for example. I think it's okay for me to talk about it if I leave it obscure enough, but.. like when one of my friends I used to talk to about some of my problems turned and told him I was "too gloomy" for him and that he should be with her; I would have shut up and stepped out of their lives ( even though when that happened, I was torn to pieces; I've never had someone betray me so blatantly like that, especially for as long as she did, lol ) if that meant they could be happy. Since I always kind of drag my issues out for Kai because I don't talk to many people now, I always think he'd be happier with someone else, so I've kind of promised myself not to protest if he were to find someone better. That kind of thing. It's the same logic I use when people try to give me things; "why waste it on me, when someone else would be a much better choice". The other part of it would be I've just given up fighting people. If someone is upset and I think it's directed at me, I figure they must be right; it is my fault and I need to apologize to avoid further conflict. There are other things, but those are the big ones. |
I: I really want to run to wherever the hell you live and give you a BIG super long hug.
Just. Saying. |
>A> If you don't give me warning, I'll punch you. +conditioned response+
Also just sayin'. xDD |
I wouldn't care if you punched me x'D I can take a hit. I do have 4 brothers.
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xD I'm stronger than I look, lolol
I do have to say, I'm not any kind of saint, as much as that makes me out to be kind of pitiful; I like my attention as much as anyone else, and I have no self control so I end up blurting things out anyway. Dx Hence how I mess everything up. Plus it's not like I don't want things like gifts or the attention of others, and it's not like I don't want Kai ( since I brought that up ). It's just that I regret having those things afterward, or I expect something bad to happen because of it, or I feel guilty for it, because I don't really think my personality is all that great ( I mean hell, if you knew me a few months ago, I think you'd all be tired of me by now. Dx I complain a lot, and with Kai, I'm cold and kind of pissy at all times because of some things that happened before. ) Might also be because I think too logically. From my point of view, I cannot for the life of me understand why my parents insist on me living here with them, jobless and just doing whatever. Like... aren't I just kind of a black hole, then? They could be much better off if I wasn't hanging around and living off their income. And what makes me even worse is that not even that motivates me to leave the house. To me, emotions like "I'm happier when you're here" make no sense, because in time, it just kind of fades off ( Plus I'm hard to communicate with irl eAo; So that in general confuses me; how people would like being around me ). So I think in the long run, the absence of me here would be the best. xD;; ( Not trying to be gloomy, it's just logic, rofl ) At the same time, all of this stuff, to me, does not apply to other people. It's hard to explain. @__@; Really, I have all that coming to me. xD; It's karma, lol |
Like I said I have 4 brothers. I got beat up a lot. Hell Christian still hits me all the time. And he hits hard. U.U hes not even ripped or has muscles. I have this friend who is all body builder and tough. Has a lot of muscles. Christian punched him and left a huge bruise. He bruises everyone he punches ;-; and it hurts like hell. Most of the time people loose feeling in their arms or wherever he hit. Anyways. I'm used to it so I could take it.
I don't even know how to respond to that huge block of text x'D don't get me wrong I read it.. its just Im not that great at responding to things. And I'm not good at making people feel better no matter how hard I try ono I'm more of just a listener/reader. But I am sure your parents don't think of you as a black hole. Karma for what? Also I think id still like you if I met you long ago. You seem like a generally awesome person to talk to and easy going. You seem like the type of person id be friends with irl. //shrug everylne complains. I had a friend. Well not really a friend but yeah she complained all the time. The only reason why I found it annoying was because shes one of the most fake, rude, horrid human beings I know. She used and abused me to the point that I am broken. But I don't like talking about it much unless I'm in a sour mood but yeah I don't think id mind your complaining seeing you are a nice and awesome person ^^ |
Just because I think those things/say those things doesn't mean I'm upset or feeling bad right now. It's just how my brain works. xD
And I'm also pretty much the same, when it comes to listening. Since I'm not really qualified to give advice, I try not to, which makes it awkward when people talk to me about things. Since I never know what to say. xD; |
I suck at giving advice
I'm like "uh.... I'm sorry bad things happened ;-;" which usually doesn't help a person out x'D I try though.... |
Meizicht feels the same as I do about everything. People look at me funny because I say sorry- and always can find a reason why I could have prevented something; usually my selfishness is what makes things happen. Because I didn't do something, or didn't want to..or because I decided not to.
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I automatically say sorry for everything. People tell me I'm annoying for it
someone steps on my shoe. me: "sorry" Someone brushes against me. Me: "sorry" Ectect idk I cant help saying sorry. It just comes out ;-; |
Someone complains that they've burned themselves on the oven, and I say sorry because I could have gotten the item out, or have been watching to make sure they wouldn't end up reaching too close to the sides, or perhaps could have somehow made sure that there was something I could have done to prevent the item from having to be baked in the first place.
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Oh gosh... me too Dx
I don't even understand why I do it... do you? People always make fun of me for it. Or purposely do things to make me say sorry a lot. |
Running home now, guys~
*blows a friendly kiss at meiz and snuggles the asamey<3* |
Because it's my fault. Everything has always been my fault. I can pretend it doesn't bother me, but everything always makes me so anxious. Any angry person is another person I could have made happy if I hadn't screwed up. I'm learning to get over it, but I still get a racy heart and end up not being able to breathe properly.
So...I ignore it. And play it up like I don't care, at all. Don't run too hard Keiko, can't have you out of breath and exhausted! XD |
I think that as well but It doesn't make me understand why I feel this way....
//snuggs lauv |
Because everyone blamed everything on you while you were growing up, punished you for those things, and gave compelling arguments why they were your fault? XD
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Probably
I have mentally blocked a lot of memories from my childhood so I cant recall but with my mom it makes sense But I know it got bad after my sophomore year of hs where this chick really messed me up.. |
I don't remember most of my childhood, couldn't remember most of it when it was happening, so I dismiss it, and all my speculations are mostly kept to myself, because I can't prove anything, or remember it.
It's kinda weird, but I mostly only remember the present. Same went for when I was little. I remembered that day; mostly. I have bad memory retention. So I tend to just assume I don't remember because of that, but I have these notions. Still, no sharing. |
Terrible memory is terrible
I remember a few things like watching shows or certain events buti have 4 brothers who tell me things that they remember and I try to piece together things from that. Anyways I am starting to feel sick I might get off soon |
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