It was in the refrigerator, I am assuming she thought it was empty. I dunno her logic really. She doesnt read and well I have a funny story to tell you about what she did yesterday.

sure~ and sorry i am sketchy, i /think/ i found out something really important about myself and i am researching it

Oh that is fine. I am going to get some sleep as soon as I finish making this cake. I may konk out now and wake up and do it.

no worries, you need sleep dear~

Just out of curiosity what are you researching?
And not till the cake is finished.

this post has been deleted because of my own level of comfort in it being seen

Ah. Did you find anything interesting?

=-= I wish my mom would watch where she is going in my room. She smashed one of my clay things I was using to make beads.

i found out i was not the special little snowflake i thought i was and there are a lot of people just like me and i should prolly break up with poptart

Dude I am sure he understands but he sounds like he still likes your company and likes taking care of you. So be gentle.

sweetie he bends over backwards to me but we have had several discussions and he has very clearly stated that eventually he wants to actually have sex with me, like the real thing barring only if i am not physically able(which might be an issue considering my insides but that would be a doctor's thing to say)

i want everything but that and i try very hard to compromise too but i am reading up on this and some of the partners in the consolation and support forum speak about such heart-wrenching despair over this that i don't see my repulsion working out(especially since i am as it turns out, very much a tease and /like/ the constant contact when i know it is is happening beforehand)

Yeah. To that I am not sure what to say except do what you think is best. I have not been in a real relationship and even so I think I'd be in the same spot as you. Check with your doctor first though. If your doctor says no that makes things a wee bit easier.

same, 23 and he is my first relationship that was not famillial but what if the doctor says it is a possibility? that makes it harder and deepens my guilt......i want this relationship pog, he does not make demands, he does not disrespect me and i feel like i will never get him again, hell pog, barring the looks he is everything i need, most of what i want and is compatible with me in all the way i need him to be but the one

if i was not madly and irrivocibly in love with k i would be his forever, hell, he is even ok and accepting of k whom i have made no bones about sharing my feelings over... long and short he is virtually perfect

Well you can either try to give him what he needs or think of a compromise that works for both of you. But cho you hurt yourself just sitting. I am not sure how well you would do frankly in missionary or any other way.

i know pog and he understands, that is prolly the biggest piece on my side of the board especially since i have been in near-constant pain for the last several days from pulling my back out

he understands pain better than most

Daw he sounds like a sweet heart.
I would really hate for you to break up since he makes you happy.
There is no way around the issue is there?